Lawsuit-free since 9/14/05

Saturday, October 30, 2004

A nod from the Hill?

In an interesting turn of events, it seems TBOC! has received some attention in the last place we expected it. No, not the U.S. News & World Report, but The Hill News. Without commenting too much on the article itself, we did want to respond to one or two points contained therein.

The author writes that TBOC! "makes allegations of serious drug abuse by several SLU Republicans" in our column, "The End of the SLU GOP?" This is perhaps half-right. The problem is with the word "allegations." We used to make "allegations." We had evidence, yes, but the article in question goes surpasses allegation in the sense that it is actually an admission--albeit an unintended one--by "several SLU Republicans" (and former student representatives, we might add). When it's coming straight from the horse's mouth, as was the case with the leaked emails, what was once an "allegation" becomes mere fact.

Also, the article states "One factor that takes away form the legitimacy and urgency of these articles is that the authors post anonymously. This may be a way for them to protect themselves from the backlash caused by their often-controversial articles." There's a number of points that are in order here: 1. Some of literature's most famous works were produced using pen names like Lewis Carroll, George Sand, Moliere, George Orwell, Voltaire, Dr. Seuss, and even Mark Twain. Did that take away from the "legitimacy" (and often times, the "urgency") of their work? "Deep Throat" remains anonymous to this day. Does that make his/her contribution to American politics and journalism any less "legitimate"? We don't think so. 2. There's no "may" about it. We TBOC! contributors remain anonymous to protect ourselves. We also remain anonymous to draw the reader's attention to what we are saying, not who we are.

To address the author of the article, Shawn, more directly: Thank you for the article, and for recognizing our hard work. Should their be future articles about TBOC!, we do encourage you to contact us directly at takebackourcampus@yahoo.com.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

We still get letters, just not as many, Vol. 1

"We're sorry for calling you liars. You were right; we are the real liars. We do use cocaine, and what your site has said about us in the past was not actually defamation." Signed, Jake Shea, Elizabeth Wardell, & Alicia McNally

Yes, it would be nice if we had received this email. Unfortunately, we did not, and to our knowledge no such email exists. But, we did get a great comment from a former Laurentian. Looks like we have some alumni that actually follow TBOC!, and for that, if nothing else, we are deeply honored. One, under the name Outraged Alum, recently posted:

How is it possible that the information released in the last two posts on TBOC! have not created a massive stir on campus? I graduated six years ago and do not know these students personally. However, clearly COCAINE use by students is absolutely unacceptable. I have followed TBOC! for some time now, and it is clear to me that the reporters are fair and honest, but more importantly that they have a large network and the ability to obtain (probably legally) this information. Given my belief that the evidence is real, I personally (politics aside) fear for the safety of our university as a whole and more importantly for the individual safety of SLU students. The administration, security, and Thelmo MUST take immediate action. If I were still a senator, I would not let this issue go undisguised. I am discontinuing my donations until the appropriate actions are taken against these students. The students named should come forward and release apologies for their actions.

We feel that before officially going to the press with this matter, we should address the polite comment Outraged Alum left us.

Dear Outraged Alum,

Thanks for your comment! While we are not surprised at all by the recent revelations, we nonetheless remain highly disturbed. The silence of Thelmo and the administration on this matter has been not only overwhelming, but utterly stunning. That is why we feel we have no other choice of action than to turn this matter over to the mainstream press and hope that they have more luck with it. The safety of our student body now rests on their shoulders, as the administration obviously cares so little about this matter as to even attempt to address it.

What truly speaks volumes about all of this is that the members of the SLU GOP in question have not come forward to openly deny these charges. They, like Thelmo and the administration, have remained totally silent. We don't always think that silence amounts to guilt, but there is one thing that always does, and that's guilt itself. Yes, guilt amounts to guilt, and it seems painfully obvious that the parties in question are in fact quite guilty of our past accusations. What makes their behavior particularly shameful, however, is the way that some of them have not simply denied past allegations, but actually tried to go after former TBOC! contributors for making the allegations in the first place.

Thanks again,
All of us at TBOC!

However, if there is any silver lining in this whole debacle, it is this, and we'd like to address it specifically to those members of the SLU GOP that have dogged TBOC! for its entire existence:

"Red-handed" or "white-nosed"? Well, we don't suppose it matters much, either way you're plain old "caught." And, now that the truth is out, we're really not going to take any more of your privileged rich-kid bullshit. You can yak it up with Rance or DP or Dan Sullivan--or whoever it is you bother about this stuff--all you want, and scream at the top of your lungs about false allegations. But the facts stand for themselves now, and you can no longer hide behind the administration that has coddled you for so long. So, in light of these recent facts, we concluded that it's still not too late just yet for you to suck it up and apologize for being such jerks. (Oh, by the way, this includes the kind folks of the SLU administration and Security.) Please send all apology email to takebackourcampus@yahoo.com. For the sake of convenience, please include in the title of the email, "We're sorry for being such big jerks." See the top of this post for an example email if you're at a loss for words.

Happy emailing!

Monday, October 18, 2004

We Demand Action!

Will this week turn out to be a decisive one? We hope so. St. Lawrence has enough problems without having to deal with a student organization fraught with cocaine use. The actions the university and Thelmo take this week will determine just how concerned the administration and the student government are with the safety of our students. We at TBOC! have several demands:

1. That Thelmo place the SLU GOP on probationary status as an organization in order to fully investigate these matters and determine whether or not their organizational charter should be revoked.

2. That the university take swift action in expelling, or suspending in some fashion, at the very least: Elizabeth Wardell, Jake Shea, and Alicia McNally. Additionally, we demand that the university ensure they receive care at a drug treatment facility.

3. That the university and campus Security launch an immediate investigation into the full extent of this "'organization' issue" (see TBOC! column "The End of the SLU GOP?" 10/12/04).

If these demands are not addressed by the end of the week, we will turn this issue over to the mainstream press. Perhaps they will be more effective in seeing that justice is done. Again, this is an urgent issue of student safety. It must not be ignored.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The End of the SLU GOP?

TBOC! has published many-a-controversial piece in the past, were it news or satire. What you are about to read is by far the most controversial, and the most damning.

Throughout the history of politics and journalism, many shifts in the political landscape as we know it have been initiated by leaks. Just think about it, if you will, for just a moment: the Pentagon Papers, or Deep Throat and CREEP. These leaks fundamentally changed politics and journalism, and their relationship to each other in the United States, forever.

In the cases of most great leaks, there is an ethical question that is ever present: if the journalist knows that the information s/he receives from an anonymous source may have been unlawfully obtained, can it still be published--that is, is it ethical to do so? Or perhaps a better question is, is it still desirable to publish it? The answer to the first question is, so far, yes, it is legal, as Bartnicki v. Vopper (532 U.S. __, 121 S. Ct. 1753 (2001)), Smith v. Daily Mail Publishing Co. (443 U.S. 97, 102 (1979)), and New York Times v. United States (403 U.S. 713 (1971)) have established. However, when is it desirable to do so? The Student Press Law Center, referring to Bartnicki v. Vopper, states, "The holding in Bartnicki paid special attention to the interest in the dissemination of information concerning public issues and its relationship to the privacy interests of individuals. In this instance, the Court held in favor of 'full and free dissemination of information concerning public information.'"

We think this is a fair qualification, and is what we took into consideration when weighing the following story, "The End of the SLU GOP." Many prominent members of the SLU GOP (also known as the SLU Republicans) also held elected positions in in Thelmo, St. Lawrence's student government. It is our belief that all public figures should be held to high standards of conduct, and so if and when said figures engage in highly illegal activity, and in some cases have lied about their involvement in such activity, it is in the best interest of the public--in this case, their constituents--to know. It is also in the best interest of the public for students to understand the dangerous social environment they may now be entering upon joining the SLU GOP. In fact, it is their right to know.

With that in mind, we bring you the following story. Our source for it, a member of the SLU GOP, provided us with information that seems to have been legally obtained. However, it is a leak nonetheless, so we we must naturally be cautious, and so felt the need for this preface, in order to explain the ethics of such a leak regardless of whether or not the information contained in the leak was obtained lawfully. It is not that we think the contents of the leak was obtained illegally--only initial suspicion arose from the fact that it seems too much a momumental blunder to send any of the information contained in the leak to anyone in the form that it took; so much so that it at first seemed improbable that the leak itself was real. However, it is apparent that the information is as real as the leak itself. We should also state that we did not solicit the leak, it was given voluntarily. To pay for sources, we believe, turns journalism into news for the highest bidder, and as such, is unethical. Lastly, please note: some names have been redacted to protect the anonymity of the individuals in question. And now, our story.

"The End of the SLU GOP?"
In the Winter of 2004, the original Take Back Our Campus! (TBOC!) website was born. The goal of TBOC! was to be a hodgepodge of news, satire, commentary, and sometimes a mixture of all three at once. Needless to say, the site aroused the ire of a group of St. Lawrence University GOP students when it ran its series of controversial profiles, known as "Spotlight."

In what was perhaps a defining moment for the site and the organization, TBOC!, in an edition of its Spotlight, published allegations that Thelmo Senator Jake Shea was a cocaine user. However, because of the organization's obligation to protect its sources, the allegation itself had to be couched in qualifying phrases such as "has been rumored," and "some say," or "some have said." Then-Senator Shea believed he knew who the author of the piece was and pursued who he supposed to be the author some time after s/he had already ceased to participate in the site or the organization because of mounting pressure from administrative figures and members of the SLU GOP. While writing this article, we contacted this person, now a SLU graduate, who recounted this period of time.

I had gotten out of the whole TBOC thing a while before the trouble about Jake's spotlight. For one thing, I was extremely busy with my thesis, but beyond that I received a threatening phone call from Sport [Jake] about that post. I patiently explained to him that whatever he thought, I was not in fact the author of the piece, nor did I orchestrate all the activities of "the left" on campus, which he seemed to think I did. Basically he said that if I wanted to graduate, I would see that it was removed. He also said that "You know it's not true," in reference to the coke allegations. "It's slander," he said. I knew it wasn't; we had extremely reliable sources, and I knew that TBOC always made a point to cross-check them before printing anything.

Shortly after that I was visited by campus security, who, after interrogating me, asked if I could see that the site was taken down. I contacted some people who I thought might still be running the site, and asked them take it down until graduation. I didn't think there was anything the university could actually do to me, but obviously I didn't want to take any chances. I was going to have family up for the ceremony, you know.

Anyway, I thought that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, Jake continued to press the matter, and over the summer after I graduated, a member of my family actually received a threatening phone call from, of all people, his father, who tacitly suggested that he might file a slander or libel lawsuit, or some such nonsense. Of course that never happened, but I guess now I finally know why.

The former tboccer added, "Funny though, I didn't realize that the site had been 'resurrected.' I figured it just fizzled out after the end of last summer."

This year's remaining contributors to TBOC!, as well as new contributors such as myself, assumed that that had been the end of the matter. That is, we did until we received an email from a member of the SLU GOP, who, on condition of anonymity, provided us with some rather startling information: emails from former SLU GOP president Elizabeth Wardell. As it turns out, TBOC!'s sources last year had been absolutely correct. But the emails imply that Shea was not the only former Thelmo senator--or SLU GOP member or office-holder, for that matter--who is involved in the use of the highly-illegal narcotic. It would appear that former president/Senator Liz Wardell may be as well, and former Senator Alicia McNally. Not only that, but, it appears, there exists a concerted effort on the part of SLU GOP officials, members, and some Thelmo senators to cover this up.

From what one can glean from the emails, the story seems to go like this: One day, or more likely, one evening, former Senators Wardell and Shea called former Senator McNally, asking her to supply them with cocaine. This upset McNally, who had been seen in the past using the illegal substance. Senator Wardell writes, "I'm sorry if you were offended that Jake and I called you. I heard last year from someone on our floor, and I honestly don't remember who, that [Name Redacted] walked in on you doing lines off your desk. And then Jake heard the same thing more recently... My apologies."

McNally responded simply, "Thank you for the apology. Please ask Jake to keep his mouth shut."

This, taken by itself, is perhaps damning enough for most. But the second email drove the final nails into the coffin. In it, Wardell writes to McNally as well as the present SLU GOP president, voicing her concern that cocaine use, by Senator Shea and others, has become an "'organization' issue." Responding to McNally's request that former Senator Shea "keep his mouth shut," Wardell stated,

He hasn't said anything and won't - because he expected the same from everyone else - especially the people who initially OFFERED to get drugs for him! My concern is [Name Redacted] since she has a huge mouth... how and why she was told I don't know... I've also asked [Name Redacted] to speak to [Name Redacted] about not saying anything. Now that this is suddenly a GOP issue, for whatever the hell reason, [Name Redacted] knowing is a huge liability. Just wanted to let you know who knows and who I've talked to, so we're all on the same page. Sorry again to put you in this position. I didn't know it would blow up to be an "organization" issue.

How widespread this use of a dangerous and illegal Schedule 1 narcotic is within the SLU GOP and Thelmo, we may never know. However, a few things now seem clear: First of all, the allegations against then-Senator Shea were not libelous, but stand in the light of fact as correct. Second of all, this problem has recently plagued the SLU GOP as a "GOP issue." Thirdly, the main three people implicated in the emails (former Senators Shea, Wardell, and McNally), during and after having held elected office were and are engaging in conduct that is destructive, irresponsible, illegal, threatening to the collective well being of the SLU community, and which defiled the office their constituents elected them to. Their constituencies, then, have a right to know.

More than that, this calls into question the very legitimacy of the SLU GOP as a Thelmo-sanctioned student organization. One must wonder, what are new recruits of the SLU GOP being drawn into? It seems that the answer is not just a political club, but an environment where they will be recklessly exposed to highly dangerous, highly illicit substances. At its heart, this is an issue of the safety of the students at this university.

The only questions now are, what will the administration do to rectify this, what will the implications be for the SLU GOP, and what will Thelmo do to ensure that such people are never again allowed the privilege of holding office? We suspect the administration, as per usual, will do nothing, but we hold hope for more from Thelmo. As for the SLU GOP, it seems that this is the beginning of their end. Rarely has a student organization been so thoroughly corrupted to the core as this, and never in our knowledge has any student organization engaged in endangering its members while simultaneously making a concerted effort to conceal this danger from the public eye, as it is apparent that the SLU GOP has.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

"I own a timber company? That's news to me."

For anyone watching the presidential debates on Friday, you undoubtedly caught the following exchange:

Kerry: The president got $84 from a timber company that he owns, and he's counted as a small business. Dick Cheney's counted as a small business. That's how they do things. That's just not right.

Bush: I own a timber company? [Pause] That's news to me.


"News to me"? Funny, it shouldn't be. Here's documentation showing Bush's part ownserhip in a company existing "for the purpose of the production of trees for commercial sales."

One can draw either of two possible conclusions from this. Either he really did forget that he was part owner of a timber company, and did, in fact, under his own legislation qualify as a small business; or he lied, and as usual, Kerry didn't call him on it.

What do you think?

Friday, October 08, 2004

Haiti: Example of US "commitment to democracy"

While the neo-cons original justification for the invasion, overthrow and occupation of Iraq was lies about weapons of mass destruction and an "imminent threat", the new excuse peddled about by these megalomaniacs is that they are "creating democracy in the Middle East" and that this democracy will spread throughout the Middle East.

I wonder if the Haitians know about this "creating democracy" business the Americans are up to. Because you see what the neo-cons won't talk about is how in the spring of 2004, the US along with the "hated" French, overthrew the democratically elected government of Haiti and supported thugs from the death squads of the Duvalier regime, a regime which was one of the most brutal and repressive in a region that has had its fair share of brutal and repressive dictatorships. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Let me introduce you to some of the "forces of democracy" we backed and are backing in Haiti.

Louis-Jodel Chamblain, a former Haitian army officer sentenced to life at hard labor in connection with the 1993 assassination of political activist Antoine Izméry

Jean-Pierre Baptiste, likewise sentenced to life for his role in a 1994 massacre. Both were leaders of the FRAPH, or Haitian Front for Advancement and Progress, a CIA-backed organization that carried out state terror against opponents of the military regime that ruled the country from 1991 to 1994.

Guy Philippe, a former member of the Haitian military who received training from US Special Forces in Ecuador in the 1990s and was then sent back to Haiti, where he became a brutal police chief and sought to organize a coup in 2000. He is suspected of involvement in cocaine trafficking.

Aristide is the democratically elected leader of Haiti. He "got out of line" by not fulfilling America's mandatory economic 'reforms' called for by the IMF, which was part of the "agreement" Clinton had made with Aristide before backing his reinstatement in 1994. As so many before him have learned, if you do not kowtow to US business interests, you will face the death squads. Democracy be damned, we're making the world safe for capitalism.

Bogus war, real crimes

"Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction." --Dick Cheney, August 2002

"We know that Saddam Hussein is determined to keep his weapons of mass destruction, is determined to make more." --Colin Powell, February 2003

"Intelligence gathered by this and other governments leaves no doubt that the Iraq regime continues to possess and conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever devised." --George W. Bush, State of the Union address, March 2003

"We know where [the WMD] are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat." --Donald Rumsfeld, March 2003

"But make no mistake--as I said earlier--we have high confidence that they have weapons of mass destruction. That is what this war was about and it is about." --Ari Fleischer, April 2003

U.S. soldiers were sent to into harm's way in Iraq because, we were told, Iraq possessed "weapons of mass destruction," including biological and chemical weapons, mobile bioweapons manufacturing facilities, and a fleet of unmanned arial vehicles to deliver these weapons to their targets. To date, the "official" number of U.S. troop fatalities stands at 1,068. Yesterday the final report of Cheif Weapons Inspector Charles Duelfer was made public. The 1,000+ page report, what the Bush administration claimed would be its final vindication, merely confirms the findings of each past Chief Weapons Inspector: Iraq did not possess weapons of mass destruction, before or after the war began.

One day prior to this, the Pentagon announced that it was investigating cockpit footage from American pilots that shows them firing on, and killing, a group of unarmed Iraqi civilians. Russ Kick reports,

The 30-second clip shows the pilot targeting the group of people in a street in the city of Fallujah and asking his mission controllers whether he should "take them out". He is told to do so and, shortly afterwards, the footage shows a huge explosion where the people were. A second voice can be heard on the clip saying: "Oh, dude."

The existence of the video, taken last April inside the cockpit of a US F-16 fighter has been known for some time, though last night's broadcast by Channel 4 News is believed to be the first time a mainstream broadcaster has shown the footage.

The video from the cockpit itself can be viewed here and here.

This footage is the latest in a series of mounting evidentiary findings proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that war crimes are being committed by Coalition Forces in Iraq, and are in fact widespread. Several US soldiers are already being brought up on charges of murder, some have already been convicted of murder for forcing Iraqis to jump to their deaths in rivers, and perhaps most notable among proof of war crimes are the Abu Ghraib photographs and video footage. However, it is unlikely that these crimes will ever be tried at the International Criminal Court, as the Bush administration does not recognize its authority.

In fact, the United States has a long history of ignoring not only international law, but the international courts charged with upholding and enforcing these laws, ever since the US, under president Ronald Reagan, was convicted of international terrorism against Nicaragua in the International Court of Justice. The United States was ordered to pay reparations to the country for mining its harbors, bombing its schools, and waging an illegal contra war against a democratically elected government and a sovereign nation. The Reagan administration refused to pay the ordered reparations.

With these recent reports, it seems that the jury is finally in. The war that has claimed the lives of over one thousand U.S. troops, an estimated 30,000 Iraqi civilians, and disabled over 9,000 US soldiers, was launched on the basis of bogus, cherry-picked intelligence mixed with numerous and outrageous administrative lies. In the meantime, a pattern of abuse and war crimes are contstantly emerging regarding some US and British troops.

All of this begs the question: If Clinton was impeached for lying about his sex life, what happens to an entire administration that lies a nation into war that steals the lives of over one thousand of America's sons and daughters who put their trust in them?

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Think they're just like you? Think again.

The Republican Party has always prided itself on standing up for "the little guy," despite the fact that their policies have always been heavily tilted towards the rich (i.e., themselves). The College Republicans are no exception, and it doesn't take much research to see how this plays out at SLU. In the past, the SLU GOP has been very defensive about the notion that their ranks are swelled replete with predominately wealthy students, and love to point out and tokenize the few exceptions to the rule. Despite this, when you look at some of their personal backgrounds, its not hard to see that maybe they aren't all just like you and me. Let's look at a few examples.

Former President of the SLU GOP, Elizabeth A. Wardell, is no stranger to the comforts of wealth. Residing in beatiful Saratoga Springs, NY, Liz drives a new model Audi, with Saratoga vanity plates that read "SLU 2004." (No, she didn't technically graduate with the class of '04, but she's hoping to graduate at the end of this semester.) Liz's father, William Wardell, runs his own business, and is a registered member of the Plumbing-Heating-Cooling Contractors Association. Think they lobby President-select ManOrMonkey? You bet. And, her sister, Alicia, a Dartmouth alumna, is the Deputy Mayor of Saratoga Springs.

What's that? You have a Deputy Mayor in your family, your father runs his own business, and you drive a new model Audi with vanity plates? Well, then consider the prominently-feature-on-TBOC Jake Shea, who hails from the wonderful, white, and wealthy town of Kennebunk, Maine. His parents, Stephen and Linda, are business owners too, and in 2003, according to town records, posted $357,200 in just taxable income. Keep in mind that taxable income makes up only a portion of total net wealth.

Still not that far from your own financial situation? Well, that means you're probably a member of the SLU GOP. But let's just do one or two more examples--you know, for fun.

Pete Snedeker, also the President of Thelmo, most likely ranks among the top 5% (or possibly even 1%) of the entire national income spectrum. That's because his father, James P. Snedeker, a SLU alum, is the Senior Vice President of Marsh USA, one of the world's foremost risk insurers, a subsidiary of Marsh & McLellan Companies Inc. Never heard of them before? Neither had we. Turns out they rank #169 on the list of Fortune 500 companies, and are still moving up. Just last year they posted annual revenues of $11.588 billion. Part of Marsh's big bucks come from helping employers figure out how to "cut costs" (read: not pay) in workers compensation.

There's also some CEOs in the mix too. There is, for instance, Mike "informer" Wieneke (who may bring SLU's conservative kingdom crashing down with him, it seems.) Mike's father, Daniel Wieneke, is President & CEO of PARC, the Plattsburgh Airbase Redevelopment Corporation, and makes $150,000 per year in income alone.

But guess what? These are just a small handful of examples. Even some of the less prominent figures among the SLU GOP, like Alicia "Lazy Blacks" McNally (whose father actually complained about SLU celebrating Martin Luther King Day--apparently blatant racism runs in the family), come from exceptionally wealthy areas such as Granby, Connecticut, which has a median household income of over $80,000--twice the national median--and a median family income over over $90,000.

So the next time you hear about how they're just like you and me, and aren't all rich kids, remember: the SLURs may not all be rich, but can you think of any other organizations on campus that have as many, if any? Did you have a nanny, a CEO for a parent, attend a prep school/academy instead of public school, or have a membership at a country club or a yacht club growing up? We figure most of you didn't.

Food for thought.

Administrative Cover-up??

Every semester, there is controversy about whether or not the administration covers up sexual violence on campus (by controversy we mean a few people care, and they hang up signs which get ripped down). Dean Petty gets all teary, saying that if people perceive the administration that way, no one will want to report anything. She swears that nothing like that could ever happen; she cares far too much about the issue to cover anything up. Cissy is just looking out for the best interest of the victim. Interestingly enough, Cissy does a good job of making herself seem like a victim, all "Why would people say that about me, whine whine whine... Where else have we seen this on campus?

We at TBOC! have reputable sources informing us that this is, in fact, not the case. One source, who is an Advocate and a Community Assistant, gave an account that we find very interesting. She received a phone call from a friend one night, asking her to come over. The friend had just experienced relationship violence--her partner choked her. Our source says that when she arrived, her friend was fine physically, but was badly shaken up. A call was put in to the counselor on duty, in the hopes that Jess Parrillo would answer. As an aside, the survivor in this case had discussed previous experiences of sexual violence with Daniel Hernandez, who made her feel as if she was guilty for the act. The counselor on call was neither of these, though... Bill Burns came to the rescue.

Upon arrival, our source tells us, Bill asked not about the survivor's well-being, but about her partner's. It took him about 5 minutes to finally ask the survivor if she was okay. Then he had her door combination changed and called it a night. Granted, it was 11 at night, and our poor counselor friend was probably tired, but it seems like some mention of reporting the incident should have been made. Not to pressure the survivor, or to make her feel uncomfortable at all, but just to put the option out there. Okay, we'll admit that this isn't a case of administrative cover up, but it seems pretty sketchy to us.

Other sources report that they have been told by Dean Petty to go abroad after experiencing sexual violence, to try and get over it. Editors note: I am abroad right now, and I can't help but wonder how many girls on my trip were given that line by Dean P. One survivor of relationship violence alleged that the administration doctored the photos of her injuries. Many of her friends were skeptical at the time, but when combined with all of the other stories, it doesn't seem so far fetched anymore. This same survivor was discouraged from pursuing the matter legally, being told it would all be taken care of at the university level. It was only after she withdrew from the semester that she was able to get police attention.

None of this conclusively says that the administration tries to cover up sexual violence on campus. But the combination of these instances, taken with the other stories floating around campus seem to make a pretty good case. Anyone who has attended a Take Back The Night event, or panel discussions on sexual violence, will see the overwhelming number of women who are survivors of sexual violence. These women are obviously willing to speak about their experiences, so why isn't the university paying attention?

Any survivors of sexual violence who would like to share their experience with the administration can do so by posting in the comments section below, or by sending an email to takebackourcampus@yahoo.com. Anonymity will be respected.

And remember all the options that are out there... CAVA, Renewal House, the Advocates, the Women's Resource Center, or the police, among others.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Great moments in SLUR history

SLU Republicans are not racist. At least, they've said they're not in the past, and we're willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that some--or even many--of them aren't. They'll also tell you they don't hate poor people, which is, as you may have deducted, a lie. The problem is, while some (or even, again, "many") may not be racist and hate poor people, a lot of them are racist, and do hate poor people, something that sets them apart from every other campus organization, except some portions of Thelmo. That said, there are some pretty defining moments in SLUR history when it comes to issues of class and race that we think every student should know about.

For instance, one SLUR once referred to a member of the faculty as "a big fucking spic." Another referred to anyone receiving government aid as a "worthless, co-dependent wretch." One referred to those lacking the financial resources to attend prep schools as "public school trash," while yet another referred to workers at ODY as "piece[s] of shit making minimum wage." Thankfully, one SLUR, clearing both issues up at once lest any confusion remain, brilliantly stated that SLU hands out "diplomas for free," continuing, "What is it, 70% or 80% have financial help at SLU. An unmentionable minortity I am sure come from the Bronx, and get full rides. Thats what we** mean about free tuitions. Because they can play basketball, and use other words besides dawg, they are let into fine schools like SLU. Fuck the minority pool, they should all be drowned in a pool." I don't know what else you can call a statement like that but "classy." Another commented, "In 1950 SLU used to be 40% prep school students. What the fuck has happened? Slime is taking over colleges." One SLUR--Alcia McNally--once commented, "I'm not racist, but when I see black people, I know they're lazy." That was after some trouble over her AOL buddy icon, which read "Guns don't kill people, angry minorities do." Ha! The rest of the world may not get it, Alicia, but we do! You're hysterical!

Other favorite epithets include, but are not limited to, "trailor (sic) trash," and "big fucking fag."

Indeed. It seems the unworthy and the untouchables are, to use a favorite phrase of bigots everywhere, "taking over." At least, they are if you're a SLUR. That's probably why SLURs bring open fascists like Daniel Flynn to speak at SLU, in part on the university dime, although we may never know for sure.

This has been an installment of Great Moments in SLUR History. Stay tuned for more!
** Note the author's use of the word "we" in this passage.

Sell Out

Sell Out

As we returned to St. Lawrence University in Fall we expected to see the name of a Trustee imprinted in the front of the student center – somebody who had been stupid enough to donate seven million dollars to Dean Petty’s pipe dream. Instead, we saw an ugly Pepsi logo on a dirty white banner. Next to it, the text was: “First Year Cup Brought to you in memory of Will O’ Brian.”

More than one freshman quipped, “Is this really a liberal arts institution?” Mostly, though, given the large number of larrys and muffys that have flooded this beacon of liberal education and thought, they were pretty upset that McDonalds hadn’t sponsored their beloved student center. Certainly SLU is corporate enough to attract McDonalds?

Most importantly, though, the question that so many who used Will’s memorial service for their own selfish goals, didn’t ask was -- Is this how we want to remember Will? With a Pepsi logo summing up his life? How much did Pepsi buy Will’s memory for?

Like the FOX TV network, they remained silent as St. Lawrence University making a mockery of everything it claims to stand for. These are the people that called Will a friend. TBOC asks you all to rise up and condemn the administration (and your own behavior in being silent participants to this disgusting debasing of a fellow SLU student’s life.)

Shame on you, administration. Once again you’ve shown you will do anything for money. At least try to give St. Lawrence University students something to celebrate about their liberal arts background. Even the economics department, your conservative stronghold, would be upset with the monopoly you’ve created – at least bring Coke machines, though generic Adirondack soda hasn’t killed anybody.

SLU Dean Suspected To Have Links With Al Qaeda

TBOC! Breaking News: October 4, 2004

Canton, NY – For St. Lawrence University students, life has not been as quiet as usual over the past few weeks, especially if they are frequent visitors of the Java Barn, a semi-nonalcoholic venue on campus which hires bands every Friday and Saturday night to provide students with free entertainment. In a story just now breaking, the changes appear to have begun as a result of the actions of St. Lawrence University Dean of Student Life, Marcia “Cissy” L. Petty. Upon attempting to return to the United States, she was stopped by the United States Border Patrol, now working under the Department of Homeland Security. An unidentified officer at the Ogdensburg border crossing has told us, “She tried to cross the border into the United States, but her name appeared on a ‘Entry Denied" list from the Department of Homeland Security. When this happens we have to detain and question the individual, which is exactly what we did” Upon further questioning, the anonymous officer informed us that her unexpected detainment was due to her “suspected ties to Al Qaeda.” When questioned, a spokesperson from the Deans Office, who requested to remain anonymous (Kathryn McCaffrey, director of the office of Co-Curricular Education and Programs), denied these accusations.

While most SLU students are unaware of the links between Petty and Al Qaeda, when they are told that Petty hates freedom, they have mixed responses. One SLUR, Carla Hunter, reacted as most SLURs might, "How could someone who loved shopping as much as Cissy hate freedom?" Another student, expressed enthusiasm for this new discovery saying he never realized “Petty’s hatred of freedom went deeper than just that of the freedom of students on campus!” Another student who wished to remain anonymous says he and his friends are not at all surprised by the news of her links with terrorism, and as it turns out some students have been calling their Dean “Bin Cissy Petty” for years. Still other students on campus were delighted with the prospect of her being finally caught at something that will, to many students delight, get her fired from her job at SLU.

However, some sources tell us her links with terrorism, and her supposed hatred of freedom, are not her only legal troubles; sources say she was also smuggling drugs. According to one witness who happened to be crossing the border at the same time, “Upon full-body search, Cissy was found with possession of a pearl necklace that contained a minor amount of cocaine.” One may inquire to know exactly *how* cocaine fits into the crevices of a pearl necklace, but it was learned that “Cissy manipulated this precious necklace in a way that convenienced her fix." Or, as another source told us, perhaps it wasn’t HER fix she was conveniencing. If you are a regular of TBOC!, or if you simply keep your eyes open around campus, you’ll find that cocaine is the drug of choice among SLU Republicans (SLURS).

So the question on any good reporters mind is, after being stopped by border patrol as having suspected ties with Al Qaeda, and having been found possessing relatively large quantities of cocaine, just how did she return to campus after only a few hours in custody. It appears that after lengthy interrogation, she was allowed to cross the border, a free woman. Though the story is bit foggy, it appears as if a small bribe was paid to each officer on duty at the border crossing. Allegedly this bribe was paid from Student Life Petty Cash fund, apparently the not-so-bright Dean thought “Petty Cash” was hers to spend as she pleased.

Now you must ask, what does this all have to do with the Java Barn? And that would be a good question. Students have informed me that over the last few weekends security (and occasionally Petty herself) have been frequenting Java and shutting them down early in the night. While they have clearly been looking for excuses to do this for years, it appears as if Petty blamed Java (and not the SLURS) for her own episode with the cocaine! Her version of the story has much in common with the U.S. governments story of what truly happened on 9/11, in-so-far as it is blurry, full of holes, and one giant lie. Though many Java frequenters have experienced frustration with the heightened security at their place of residence and entertainment, most say it is well worth it in hopes they will, at months end, see Petty behind bars.

Student spirits are high at the prospect of seeing the rapid downfall of Petty spread to the rest of the administration. Just this hour reports have been coming in that there is movement within the 10th Mountain Division of Fort Drum. These troops, recently home from battling evil in Afghanistan, may be moving in to root out the forces of evil lurking in every corner of the St. Lawrence University administration. We have been granted permission to have one TBOC! correspondent "embedded" with the 10th mountain division for the entirety of Operation SLU, so more reports are expected soon. As a final note, a Fort Drum Official, speaking on the condition of anonymity, spoke of the axis of evil, “We found them in Afghanistan, we will find them in Canton. Whatever it takes, we will smoke them out of their holes.”

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Greek System Shananigans?

We at TBOC! have gotten ahold of some fun facts for all you devoted readers. Just so we don't overload you with information, here's one bit of fine information we're almost positive you'll want to know. At 3am on Friday, August 27th, the first weekend of the semester, there was a guest appearance by two oh-very-Larried-out boys at the Women's Resource Center (one quick side note to chew on--the Larry and Muffy preppiness is "not a trend, but a lifestyle").

According to our sources, the two boys who showed at the WRC were by the names of Stephen Patterson, and some Lance kid, whose last name we're unaware of, and frankly just don't give a fuck. The two are *pretty tight* if you get what we mean. So here's the deal--the boys apparently walked onto the front porch demanding to "just wanna know what the house is all about, ya know, 'cause like-- we're seniors." (With accentuation on preppy, rich boy accent here). The boys were repeatedly told to leave, which was very upsetting for them, and made them feel victimized...
Even upon being asked to leave, they remained. Now, our sources claim the term "goat-fuckers" was used in reference to, well, ok we werent going to mention it, but the whole Phi-Sig predicament last semester that caused the fraternity to lose their house. That said, the boys, in fact, were and are not members of the fraternity Phi-Sigma-whatever-it-is-goat-fuckers, and again, felt victimized.

Eventually, the CA was woken up and asked the boys to leave. Who didn't leave. In fact, our sources tell us that the boys argued with the CA for some time before they actually left. We're happy that people were awake at the WRC at the time, 'cause who knows what the hell the implications are when two retardo's show up to an all-female theme house they would otherwise have no business doing at 3am!

Phew! Who knew SLU was such a sketchy place? Stay tuned for more updates, bitches.

Another "Victim"

Another SLU Muffy is a victim. We all know how society has failed the Larries and Muffies of the world. It's a tough life having mommy and daddy provide everything for you, going to all-white elite schools in which even if all you do is snort cocaine and fail your classes you'll still go to work for mommy and daddy anyway. We must have pity on such oppressed souls. The newest victim is Heather Thomas, Il Duce of the Greek Victimhood Movement, and Student Delegate to the Board of Trustees. Poor Heather is being harassed. How is she being harassed? She was asked questions, sinister questions about what she is paid $600 a semester to do. In public no less! Poor Heather. Heather let all her fellow oppressed executive board members know about this outrage, like cancer patient Peter Snedeker (he has "raging" mono) and working class heroes such as Molly Ryan and Alex Shephard, demanding something be done to put a stop to these thugs asking questions about access for the disabled. The Executive Board quickly went to work today, organizing an emergency meeting to care for the victim. Larries and Muffies all over should rejoice as their elected representatives take harassment of the oppressed (and diverse) masses of white elites seriously. Soon the evildoer will be brought to justice and such indecent behavior will never happen again.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Some things never change

If there's one thing you can say about rich college conservatives, it's that they love their drugs, or in some cases expensive German-made sex toys, not that the two are by any means mutually exclusive. Probably their favorite, though, is that Lady of the Eighties. No, not Pat Benetar. Cocaine. Fortunately enough for the Colombian peripheral economy, it looks like some of your favorite SLURs are back at it again, with all the quick ducks into the bathroom and snorting of an NYSE stock broker. Sure, sure, they (see Thursday, May 06, 2004 entry at old TBOC!) say it's slander whenever we point this out, but remember: it's only slander if it's not true. Or, in the case of Fox News personalities, who are pathological liars, it's only slander if you know you're lying, and as such, they may not even know that they are.

Besides, we don't bring it up to mock them. We at TBOC! believe firmly that it is improper to mock someone for their addiction to and/or flirting with a Schedule 1 narcotic, except Rush Limbaugh. No, we bring this up merely out of ongoing concern for our conservative friends. Remember, it's never to late to get help; there's almost always room at Betty Ford. And if that doesn't work, then remember the ending of Requiem for a Dream.

But in all seriousness, can we fault them for it, really? The only reason all the hippies on campus buy weed instead of coke is because they can't quite afford the latter, although they may or may not be able to afford the expensive German-made sex toys. Regardless, we guess it's true, what the SLU Republicans--and every College Republicans chapter, for that matter--say: they're "the best party on campus!" So next time they've got a recruitment table set up, be sure to ask if you can get one of those nice tiny silver spoons for your keychain instead of those dumbass bottle openers (they don't really work anyway), and while you're there, don't forget to inquire: "Just exactly how much can I expect to candy-up my nose this semester?"

No matter what their response, you can rest assured the answer is "More than the President-select at Camp David."