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Monday, December 20, 2004

Faculty Spotlight: Brian Chezum



Name: Brian Chezum

Department: Economics

Title: Assistant Professor of Economics

Better Known as / Favorite food group: Cheese

Claim to Fame: Assaulted a young girl who was peacefully blocking a Hepburn door during the SAGE shut down protest against the IMF / World Bank. While there were two other entrances that most others chose to use, Cheese Stick chose to make his patented brand of pugilistic political statement by knocking over a young (and svelte!) girl barely past her eighteenth birthday.

Econ 101 with Chezum: “Minimum wage is the root of all evil.”
On Blacks: “They don’t know what’s good for them.”
On favorite fast food: “McDonalds' Big Mac with extra cheese.”
On practices of the billion dollar giant: “Where do most Blacks and minorities work? McDonalds, yes, that’s correct. “
On Unemployment: “It can be eradicated – we could employ all the blacks we wanted if only the minimum wage were brought down to $4 or something.”
On Solutions: “Who opposes minimum wage removals? Blacks. They’re the problem.”
On His Baseball bat: “Keeps them folks in line.”

What’s the rumor on the block? We asked 5 randomly selected SLU students and faculty (unedited):
“Cheese Doodles has no compunction about assaulting young co-eds.” – our beloved Christian Evangelist.
“Condescending prick.” – A fellow colleague.
“Very smart man.” – A Blonde.
“Jesus, he likes his cheese.” – A bulimic student traumatized by Cheese Crackers.

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